Toxic Friends. Categorized.

Tuesday, August 30 2011

The Debbie Downer:
Nothing is ever right. The conversation always goes back to complaining. Aches, pains, disease,  "I'm so tired" and "I'm a victim" are common topics. When you try to share something positive, "I just got a promotion! I'm so happy!" they respond with, "Oh thats cool I just wish I could find a job." They always find a way to turn the engery in a room down, way down.  Also, similiarly to the critic listed below, they are in constant need of attention and want to be baby'd.

The 1-Up'er
Example 1
You: Geez, what a long day, I'm so tired.
1-Up'er: You're tired, I worked a double yesterday and today, wrote a 700 page essay after work and I haven't slept in three days!

Example 2
You: My son is 13 months old and can say mommy, daddy and potty.
1-Up'er: How sweet. When my daughter was 13 months she wrote her first poem and drew the Mona Lisa.

As, Im sure you can tell the one up'er is that guy or gal who has a need to top what anyone has to say. You have good news, they have better news. You accomplish something they accomplished more and with less.  These people are usually extremely competitive and feel that life is a competition and they have to beat everyone at everything. They are also in need of attention (I think I''m seeing a theme here).

The Critic
Always has to talk about other people in order to focus on something else (helps ignore what they are not accomplishing). Will often give back handed  compliments. When out with friends they have no problem making a joke at your expense. These people are also very needy and constant attention is a must. They can get very hurt when you don’t call or make plans without them.

The Flake
Constantly late and almost always doesn’t pull through with what they say they are going to do. They value no ones time but their own.  Will avoid conversation about something they were supposed to do so that they can forget they were supposed to do it. Unreliable. 

The list can go on and on with toxic personalities and once you realize that you have a toxic personality in your midsts you must act! It may not be easy because many of the malignant masses are friends or family whom you want to be happy! However, the problem is they expect to be spoon fed. They want you to hold their hand along the way and are not willing to help themselves. Freindships, like any other realtionship, require balance and if all you are doing is giving or taking, it's time to reevaluate! Be honest with yourself and don't let your friendship comprise who you are. If you cannot confront these people, or you have and it has not made a difference, it maybe time to limit your exposure. At the very least do not feed into or become a part of their negativity.

Hopefully they will get the hint, or they wont. lol!
Either way, it’s your life, not theirs so live it to the fullest.

Hugs and Love,
Moni-k:)

Photo by Deborah Leigh